With every passing day , I’m beginning to dislike her more and more ….. I feel like going away from this school and do not want to see her …..nowadays I’m starting to feel a feeling of discomfort in my class…. It just seems like everyone has really totally change or seems different ….now I’m just feeling left out in everyway…. Everyone in class seems to have a group to be fit in but I don’t ….. they think I’m always doing dumb things but how about them ….. when I do something wrong they will scold me like it was world war two …. But if another fellow does a much more worse thing then me they just let it be and laugh at it ….. I just don understand looks like I was right that I’m always one step behind of everybody I know ….. I feel like going away and start a new life …..
Sometimes I just feel like ending my life as fast as possible since my life is as meaning less as nothing …in everyone’s eyes dust which is always never wanted anywhere …I’ve just no talent in anything ..the things which I know how to do ,other people knows it and better yet does it better then me …so eventually there is nothing good about me …my life is just a waste of time and space in this whole wide world …Worse of all I do not even have an interest in anything I just do not understand myself .. is that hard being me ???.. I sometimes will envy my friend lenjin because he just seems to fit into any group he runs into even though he acts retarded most of the time …as days past now, it feels like I’m just away from everybody ….there’s nothing left for me to do in this world …it is just like god created me with no purpose ….what’s the use of living when you do not even have a purpose to life …… everybody just treats me as a ridiculous clown which is for pushing around but why are they bullying other people when they themselves are pieces of rubbish …life is just meaning less to me now …. I’m just really a hopeless thing